Kiosk Mischief

november 25, 2007

I hate mall kiosks. Hate. If I were to flip out... The Scientology "Stress" Kiosk: Reply with non-nonsensical answers to their questions, all the while holding a 9-volt battery and throwing off their little machine. The "Warm Beads" Kiosk: Them: "Hi, would you like to try this warm bead pad?" Me: "Sure! Oh, man, I have been sitting in front of my computer for the last eight hours and this should really make my ass feel better." Unzip pants, take warm bead pad and put into rear of pants. Any Mobile Dealer Other Than AT&T Kiosk: "Yea! I'll sign up right away. I hate my current carrier. Ok, how much is the iPhone?" AT&T Kiosk: "Hey, I really love your commercials. You know the one with that geeky guy and the billions of people that follow him around! Oh, those are awesome. 'Can you hear me now?' Who comes up with this stuff? By the way, how much is the My Favs feature?" Child Stars Kiosk: "Am I too old to be a child star?" Mobile Phone Accessory Kiosk: Pull out Motorola DynaTac from 1983, ask for a leather case and some bling. iPod Accessory Kiosk: Put an iPod case on a Zune. Ask why it doesn't fit. Massage Kiosk: "The heated bead pad didn't work. How much for a massage?"